MY CONFESSIONS .

Too many feeling surface art night/early in the morning.


-Chill
weed got me feeling comfortable enough to speak
grey goose got me feeling strong enough by myself to think
mixed the light with the dark, that was my last mistake
because now i have no control over what i might say


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-Clear
I like you,
i need you,
i love you
I swear
Until the smoke cleared
and you weren't there
____________________________________

-New
I'm hurting
I'm hurting
I wont deny
You promised me love
why did you lie

I'm stronger
I'm stronger
No more do I cry
I'll move on now
These tears here will dry


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-Frontin, I know i want you

Pretend that I cant let you win.
Tell my self that I cant let you in
Same thing that I go tell my friends
I try to explain, they just laugh at me again

Why am I the last one to see
That you're everything I need
Maybe I just dont want it to be
That i hold on to you, and I'll let go of me


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I used to laugh at people who say " I need to be in a relationship"
I used to think they were stupid.
But I find myself jealous of other people in love.
Because I want that too.
But I never find what I'm looking for.
And every says stop looking, let them find you. Thats DEAD
I pray about it all the time.
Wish on shooting stars
Blow dandelions
Make wishes at 11:11 everyday.
People say things don't happen on your time, They work on Gods time,
Does it make me less religious if i think that God is taking his time, time that I feel I don't have to waste.
I've had this stupid little , well big high school crush on this person since 11th grade, I know it would a pointless relationship but i hate how i cant tell them how I feel.

I feel like everyone besides family who has every said they fell in love with me, didn't really fall in love with me at all. They fall in love with the idea of who I am.
All this confidence people seem to see, the smile, the eyes, the attitude, the word said. THE EVERYTHING.
I don't think anyone knows the real me. I probably don't.



Just spilled a lot of heart in a fucking text box. Now maybe I can put it into words.